


Emotions

by TheWildJoker



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Feelings, Fluff, Fukumoto is too pure, M/M, Odagiri is confused, spoilers for episode 12, start of a relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 22:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7288777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWildJoker/pseuds/TheWildJoker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>e·mo·tion<br/>əˈmōSH(ə)n/<br/>noun<br/>a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.<br/>instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge.</p><p>The one thing Odagiri has no idea how to control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emotions

Odagiri still wondered to this day why he had accepted Yuuki’s proposal. Was it the thrill of being able to push his abilities to the max? Or simply that he was tired of being treated like someone who was ‘un-trainable’?

The one thing Odagiri wanted more than anything was a place to belong.

So when he was finally accepted as one of D-agency’s own, he got that closure he so desired.  

For him D-agency was a home he always wanted as a child.

Even though most of the remaining spies were very loud and vocal with their opinion, Odagiri had to remind himself that it was better than the cold, bone chilling silence he was used to when he was in the military.

It was fear that held the military together.

It was aptitude that held the D-agency together.

They were family whether he liked them or not, and Odagiri would be lying to himself if he said he hated any of them.

Sure they _annoyed_ him. But he could think of many things worse than a little annoyance every now and then.

However during his time at the D-agency Odagiri was glad for one thing; Fukumoto. The tall male was his support whenever one of the others tried to poke fun of him at his expense. He was rescued by Fukumoto a lot to put it simply.

Odagiri was usually made fun of because he didn’t want to join in with the others in their games, he was different, but that was okay.

For Odagiri it was much easier to curl up with a good book than gossip and play some stupid card games.

He was never truly invested in the games the others played for kicks. That was probably why he had told Sakuma exactly what they were playing at after their ‘poker game’ had ended. That and he felt pity for the lieutenant. He had felt those eyes and smirks trained on him before.

It was anything but nice.

And although he got flack for it when Sakuma left from the room, Odagiri didn’t really care what they had to say or think about his actions, the only one who’s opinion he truly cared for was-

“I find it admirable that you did that for him.” Always the level and clear headed, Fukumoto responded to his question of if he had displayed the wrong action or not.

“Well the same thing happened to me before; I’ve felt those stares and amused faces.” He mumbled the last bit, cleaning up the cards that the others were too lazy to bother picking up after their game.

“But in your situation it wasn’t a game the others made to trap you in, it was a mission from Yuuki. You had a hiccup, but you weren’t entirely wrong. So there’s merit in that.”

Odagiri knew the other was trying to make him feel better after the way they had treated him because of his failure. It did hurt his pride, but knowing Fukumoto was being sincere about it made his pride hurt a little bit less.

“It still doesn’t lessen the sting of failing a mission.”

“You didn’t fail. You failed only to keep Schneider alive. That was the only minute detail.” Odagiri rolled his eyes at the attempt to make him feel better again.

“Look, I know what you’re doing, and it’s appreciated but not needed. I know I screwed up, but I also know I have what it takes to be on par with you all.” He boasted, standing up straight after he had fixed the chairs back into order.

“Oh? I would like to see that sooner rather than later.” It was a playful jab, one that had Odagiri _almost_ smiling, but he wouldn’t give up a smile to Fukumoto so easily.

“You’ll just have to stick around long enough to see it.” Even though this conversation was on the more silly side, Odagiri still enjoyed it. It was mostly because he could usually pull a wide range of emotions from the usually emotionless man.

It made him feel like he had made a small accomplishment.

“I guess I will.” Fondness. It was a tone that Odagiri wasn’t used to, so his slightly confused reaction toward Fukumoto seemed to alert him to the tone he had accidentally used, and there went the wall.

Immediately the others face turned to one of stone, expression unreadable.

Deciding to take the conversation away from Fukumoto’s slip up, Odagiri instead made a small sound of annoyance.

“Would it really kill them to pick up after themselves? It’s like we’re their damn parents or something.” Disgruntled Odagiri swung a hand out, that hand then proceeded to connect to a glass which in turn fell straight to the ground and shattered.

Odagiri let out a much louder than necessary curse as he bent down to pick up the pieces. He was about halfway done when Fukumoto spoke.

“Don’t, you’ll cut yourself. Here,” he offered Odagiri a dustpan. “Hold this while I sweep the shards up.” Odagiri did as he was told, crouching with the dustpan in hold as Fukumoto swept up the pieces into it straightforwardly.

Once the glass shards were properly disposed of, Odagiri sighed. “I really hope we have a lot more of those glasses were that one came from.” So he was embarrassed, so what?

“You aren’t the only one who’s broken a cup. So don’t worry so much about it.” Again with the cheering up. What was this? Cheer up Odagiri day? He waved the other off.

“Who said I was worried about it?” He inquired, settling himself down onto the couch in the den that apparently he and Fukumoto had made their way over to.

“Your face did.” He should have known that Fukumoto was great at reading people, and even the slightest twitch of a facial muscle could tip him off to what you were feeling at that moment.

“You need to stop with your analytical skills; it’s too late at night for this.” Odagiri huffed, curling up onto the couch, pulling out a book that he had been meaning to finish for some time now.

“It is exactly ten fifty three.”

“What are you a clock?” That had Fukumoto shaking his head.

“No I’m a person, like you.” Odagiri hummed at that, giving Fukumoto the hint he wasn’t exactly paying attention to him. Actually he had lost himself so much in the book, that he didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep.

It was only when he had been jostled awake that he realized his mistake. As his consciousness came to he registered a few things. One he was no longer on a couch and instead in someone’s arms, said arms were broad and big; a sign that it was a man carrying him. Two he also noticed the rhythmic breathing that he had grown so accustomed too from being around said man so much.

Instead of fighting his way out of the situation like his mind so begged him to, Odagiri stayed put and instead just sleepily spoke. “Fukumoto, what are you doing?” His voice was barely above a whisper but he felt the shift of attention fall to him suddenly.

“I am carrying you to bed, it isn’t a good idea to sleep on a couch. A bed is much preferable.” He explained, shifting his hand that was supporting Odagiri’s legs.

“Why didn’t you just wake me?” Odagiri was slightly more alert now, only because he thought some of the others were around, but it seemed like no one was, so he just let himself be carried.

His legs were tired and he was allowed to be selfish every once in a while.

“You were sleeping so peacefully, I couldn’t bring myself to.” It was as good of an explanation as he was going to get, and Odagiri wasn’t exactly mad at the fact he was in Fukumoto’s arms. But he pushed those thoughts deep back into the recesses of his mind.

After what felt like an eternity they finally entered the thankfully, empty dorm room. He was then gently placed onto his bed and swaddled in blankets.

“Goodnight Odagiri.”

“Good Night.” Odagiri was out in less than a minute.

* * *

The next morning Odagiri awoke with a stretch, he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this refreshed to be honest…his hands then fell to his hair, which was sticking up every which way it could, like it was trying to remove itself from his scalp.

Hair gel would be very important today.

Granted before he could even think about going to the bathroom to make himself look less like a crazed man and more like a normal human, he had it ingrained in himself to make his bed.

The bottom sheet was coming undone from the top left of his bed, which irked Odagiri more than it should have.

“You’re remaking your bed? I thought laundry wasn’t until Tuesday.” Fukumoto appeared in the doorway, a slightly amused look on his face.

“It was-“

“Not perfect, I know.” Fukumoto then entered the room.

Odagiri noticed then that he was holding his tooth brush, paste and his hair gel.

“Unless there’s a good reason for you having my essentials I suggest you give them back.” Odagiri bristled as Fukumoto stifled a laugh.

“You have it all wrong. I actually saved your things from them being an experiment between Hatano and Jitsui.” Odagiri shuddered in fear at the thought of those two getting up to no good.

In the communal bathroom no less.

Fukumoto offered the things to Odagiri who gladly accepted them.

“I guess thanks are in order. So thank you.” Fukumoto’s eyes crinkled a little at the appreciation, the only tell-tale that he was smiling internally.

“It was easy to move those two out of the way, when they’re not prepared to attack you.”

“They attacked you?” He rose a brow at the seemingly unharmed Fukumoto.

“Not attacked, more like they hung off me.” He shrugged. “They weigh nothing even when combined so it was easy to pacify them after a few reps.”

“Reps?”

“Arm reps, they were hanging off either side, thinking it was funny. It was amusing since neither of their feet touched the floor for a few minutes.” This time Fukumoto actually grinned, which had Odagiri unconsciously smiling as well.

“As long as you’re alright, I guess there’s no harm in a little fun now and then.” He shrugged, returning to his task at hand. He pulled the bottom sheet back onto his bed, folding it out like he always did. He then grasped the edge, pulling it over his corner.

It was when the sheet started to pull in the opposite direct that Odagiri noticed Fukumoto hadn’t actually left the room and was instead helping him make his bed.

“You don’t have to do that. I can make it myself.” Odagiri really didn’t enjoy help he could do things by himself.

“I know you can, but it’s faster with two.” Gingerly he accepted the help and explanation.

With the help of Fukumoto his bed was made in record time.

The bed was perfect, just the way Odagiri liked it. “Thanks again.” As he said this he bent down to grab his suit for the day.

Although he startled when Fukumoto’s large hand was placed on top of his head. After a momentary pause so he could compose himself Odagiri pushed his hand away.  “What are you doing?”

“Your bed hair is really something.” At that answer Odagiri shoved Fukumoto.

“Go do something useful.” He baulked at the tall male whose eyes crinkled once more before he left the room. Odagiri then spent a moment of his time composing himself. A grip on his white sleep shirt told him that his heart was doing weird things again, his stomach doing flips.

Odagiri promised to never let Fukumoto touch him again as he warily walked to the bathroom to see the damage the two mischief makers had caused.

* * *

After some days of mulling over his feelings, Odagiri found himself seated across Amari. He really didn’t want to ask for outside help on this ordeal but, Odagiri had no idea how to deal with these new found feelings.

The only reasons he had asked Amari for his opinions were; he was older and there for more experienced, also out of all the spies there, he seemed the least likely to ask Odagiri to return the favour for all the information he was giving him.

“Start from the top, what exactly is bothering you?”

Details were very important to a spy, they could be the thing that makes or breaks a case. So Odagiri had to be extra careful when he explained this situation to Amari. Sure he had asked for his opinion, but did he trust him? Absolutely not.

“Emotions to be frank. I still do not have a handle on them the way you all seem to. It’s making jobs that I am assigned to rather tough to see all the way through and not get drawn into.” He bit the inside of his cheek as Amari’s eyes seemed to pierce right through him as he thought.

“Emotions can be tricky,” Amari finally spoke after what seemed like an eternity of clocks ticking around them. “Especially when yours were so strong to begin with,” Odagiri opened his mouth to interrupt but Amari put his hands up in defence. “I don’t know what your past is because Yuuki never told me, but I am skilled at preserving personalities,”

That was true, Amari seemed to always be able to nail the personality of a person by just watching their mannerisms for a moment.

“You’re very head strong, but you care deeply for others. A spies life may not be one for you, but if I may be so bold…I don’t think those emotions would hold you back. You’ve proven yourself as a man who can think quickly on his feet, adapt to new situations and become a character easily.” It seemed like Amari was stroking his ego just so he could drop a bomb on it sooner or later.

“The praise is unnecessary. I just need to know how to switch those emotions off.” He pressed, grasping at straws now since Amari seemed to not quite want to give him a straight answer.

“It’s not something that is taught, unfortunately. But if it’s about that women you’re tailing, perhaps you should at least talk to her to see if your emotions would be connected easily to hers.” Thankfully the bomb was an easy one to defuse.

Sure the women looked like the one who had taken care of him as a child, but he felt no emotional connection to her. She had her face, but she wasn’t a replacement.

“Thanks for the advice. I’ll keep that in mind.” He offered Amari a half smile as the older male stood.

“Anything to help a fellow spy with his love troubles,” He winked at Odagiri. “Now I must be off, something about duty calls or what have you.” Amari placed his hat on his head before striding out of the room.

Well that conversation literally led nowhere. So with no one else to ask and a boat load of questions still to answer, Odagiri stayed in the lounge a little longer to stew over what he should do next.

* * *

The funny thing about falling in love was it was easy to fall, you literally could do that at any moment, the challenge with falling was figuring out how to stop the fall entirely.

Odagiri had tried many things to make him forget about his steady and terrifying feelings growing for Fukumoto. He didn’t know how it started or why, just, he always felt these stupid butterflies in his stomach whenever he was around.

Odagiri really didn’t know how to deal with it.

If he ever found himself in the same room as Fukumoto, he always ended up running away. Simply refusing to be alone with the taller male. He couldn’t handle these feelings that felt like they would boil over at any moment.

It was also vexing because this was the main reason he couldn’t keep up with the others.

Emotions. They were his Achilles heel after all. They had been his downfall in the past and now in the present.

It scared him because they were both spies; he knew the dangers of it all. He knew the consequences. But, he still couldn’t just stop these things from happening. Love was never an easy thing.

Every touch and action seemed to spring on more feelings, the wall needed to keep them contained crumbling bit by bit every day.

He wasn’t even thinking straight anymore. So he decided to take a stand. He couldn’t live this life of spy anymore, and he certainly couldn’t drag Fukumoto down with him.

So he was left with one choice.

“You can reconsider your resignation.” The lieutenant colonel stated, placing the paper back down on his mahogany table as he looked back up at the ramrod straight Odagiri.

Odagiri shook his head. “I cannot, emotions tie me down. I’m unable to shut them off. I can never be like them.”

A musing look came over Yuuki’s face for a moment.

“You may not be able to be _exactly_ like them, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have worth.” Odagiri’s shoulders sagged at that, was the colonel really trying to make him stay? If he did push hard enough, Odagiri would probably forgo this whole thing and pretend it never happened.

But he had to push on.

“I may have worth, but this is what’s best for me.” He had put the foot down which cause Yuuki to shift his attention back to the paper, seeming to mull over that answer for a moment.

Slowly he retransferred his gaze from the paper to Odagiri.

“If that’s what your decision is, I can’t refute it anymore.” He offered a separate piece of paper to Odagiri. “If this is what you truly want then so be it, Lieutenant Tobisaki Hiroyuki.” It had been a while since anyone had said his proper name. But he was unable to smile as he took the paper.

Odagiri read over the sheet of his transfer, starting to already memorize what his position would be and his housing location. “Thank you, for everything.” Odagiri returned his gaze to Yuuki and then bowed.

“Are you an idiot? Who bows while wearing a business suit?” Odagiri had to hide a smile as he turned his back to Yuuki now.

“Tobisaki,“ his attention was caught again. Hand hesitating on the door handles “Don’t die.”

Odagiri bit his lip as he pulled the doors open without hesitation, stepping through. As the sound of the doors closing resounded around him, he was reminded of a case being closed.

_When one door closes another one opens._

Taking a breath he continued on.

His heart ached, but this is what he had to do. He had no other choice.

Odagiri was cautious as he made his way from the very back of the agency to the front of it. He checked every corner and room to make sure none of the spies were there to stop him.

Once he was more assured of the fact no one was here right now, Odagiri became less and less thorough in his searching. He was nearing the front door now anyway, if anyone would have stopped him, they would have already.

What he wasn’t expecting however was Fukumoto to be so openly waiting for him. His pose meant he’d been leaned against the door for far longer than he would have liked. His lips were pressed in a firm line as his focus seemed blurry at the moment, like he was mentally replaying something over and over in his mind.

Odagiri coughed to get his attention. The sudden noise startled Fukumoto, Odagiri was reminded of a large cat getting spooked.

Fukumoto’s whole body bristled for a moment before easing as he realized who was standing just meters away from him.

“Please step aside.” It was the first and last time Odagiri would ask nicely if Fukumoto didn’t move.

“I can’t do that.” Using his height as an asset, Fukumoto stood tall. Almost daring Odagiri to try and move an unmovable boulder.

 “You can’t stop me, I’m already leaving. It will be easier for all of us.”

“It may be easiest for you to run away, but it’s not easiest for all of us.” He stood his ground, which was pissing Odagiri off.

“It’s my decision. Mine, not yours. Not D-agency’s. So move Fukumoto, before I make you move.” And he was serious. His limit was up, Odagiri had to leave now or else he would do something he regretted.

“Try it.” The sudden challenge had Odagiri’s restraint snap.

Now he wasn’t exactly a god at combat like Jitsui or Hatano, but he could hold his own. He pulled a quick right cut, only to have said arm immobilized by one of Fukumoto’s hands, the large hand wrapped easily around Odagiri’s wrist, much to his horror.

 Alarmed by how quickly his attack was disabled, his other hand moved without thought. It had almost connected with Fukumoto’s right shoulder, when it was picked off by Fukumoto’s own free hand.

He was completely defenceless right now.

The fear of the situation grew with every attempt to pry himself away from the other male. The attempts only making his grip that much tighter.

“Let. Me. Go.” His whole face was a masked of anger now as Fukumoto openly refused.

“I can’t. That would mean letting go of many things, and for me, it’s not favourable.” Odagiri huffed at that, he had stopped struggling momentarily to listen to Fukumoto and to also regain his strength so he could make another attempt when Fukumoto’s attention was turned elsewhere.

“So this is just you being selfish?” The statement was spat coldly at the taller male who took it all in stride.

“Somewhat. But I know it would be not be beneficial to you either. You’re going to be a lieutenant correct? You’ll be sent to the front lines in less than a month and probably die. What you’re doing is a death sentence Odagiri.” Odagiri hadn’t known about that part. But he had been in the military he could handle a little war.

“And what if that’s what I want?” He hadn’t meant to poke Fukumoto so much that the others face now had raw emotion on it. That emotion clearly read anger and a hint of sadness.

Swiftly in a motion that seemed too fluid for a tall male like Fukumoto to achieve, Odagiri’s chin was tipped up. One of Odagiri’s arms was now free.

He would have pulled away at that moment if it wasn’t for the others eyes. They were searching his so sincerely that Odagiri actually shivered and had to shift his eyes away.

“That isn’t what you want-“ Odagiri slapped his hands away, backing up out of the others hold.

“This is what I want, I don’t want to be a hindrance anymore to any-“ Promptly hands shot out to cup his cheeks.

“TOBISAKI HIROYUKI JUST LISTEN TO ME!” That stunned Odagiri to the core. He had never been spoken to like that, let alone heard Fukumoto raise his voice an octave above a normal speaking tone. “Do you not understand that I’m in the same position you are? Emotions are things that we can’t control; I tried to control mine and ended up not saying things I should have said while I had the chance.”

His eyes shifted away from Odagiri’s for a moment before shifting back. “I can’t let you leave.”

A long pause settled between them as they just stared at one another.

“How do you know my real name?” It was the first thing his mouth spurted out since his brain was a muddled mess.

“It’s not hard to eavesdrop.” Rage at the answer filled Odagiri as he started to thrash about in Fukumoto’s hold.

“Let me go, let me go! You have _no_ right to eavesdrop let alone hold me like this! I’m a man!” Steadily he was getting more and more upset. Fukumoto seemed to notice this and was wavering between letting Odagiri go and something else.

After a moment of thrashing Odagiri quietly spoke up. “You don’t even know who I really am….” The decision seemed to make itself as suddenly Odagiri was pulled uncomfortably close to Fukumoto.

“No I don’t. But I do know that I want to get to know the real you, Tobisaki.”

Odagiri didn’t know if it was the tone at which Fukumoto said that or that he had used his actual name to address him, but he was suddenly staring at Fukumoto.

The others face mere inches from his own.

It was then that Odagiri noticed Fukumoto’s facial traits that he had been avoiding looking at all week. His eyelashes were long if you looked close enough. His nose slightly longer than that of a Japanese males and-

“I don’t really know how to do this. Much less have the nerve to start it.” If Fukumoto had been lying, Odagiri would have seen it, but as he searched the other males face he found no trace of any sort of lie. So he just smiled.

“Me neither…” But that didn’t stop him from hastily grabbing onto Fukumoto’s shirt and tugging him the rest of the way down.

Odagiri would be lying if he said he didn’t feel an eruption of feelings inside of him. The pot boiled over and the butterflies were released from their cages. His pulse rose heavily as he continued to kiss Fukumoto.

The thing that felt so good about this moment was it was real. Emotions, feelings, need, desire, it was all real and he was feeling these things for the first time with a fellow spy. Go figure.

After a few more moments, the two pulled back, breathing slightly laboured.

Heavy blushes dusted each other’s cheeks as they floundered for something to say in that moment. Their mouths opened and closed in hesitation as they failed to once again express their feelings for one another.

It was Odagiri who composed himself enough to speak first.

“Guess this means I’m not leaving.” Fukumoto’s eyes crinkled.

“No, no you’re not.”

**Author's Note:**

> Finally got around to writing a proper fluffy FukuOda fic. This pairing really does need more love. c:


End file.
